Proper 17
September 3, 2023
Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes
In To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee uses a slightly more colourful metaphor suggesting we are to “climb into [another's] skin and walk around in it.” Often moccasins appear instead of shoes. One presumes that the use of the word “moccasins” implies Indigenous beginnings. The use of the notion that trying to live someone else's experience is of great value is all the more pertinent in cross-cultural settings. I have lost track of the number of pairs of moccasins I have received as a gift, inviting me to join others in their journey. Being an “eater of shared bread,” a companion, is one of my definitions of the Christian life. Martin Luther King described this same convergence of compassion and charity when he remarked. “true compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar.” Presumably he was saying true compassion requires relationship.
Romans 12:15
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
Paul's teaching to the Romans is a “how to.” It tells us how to get along with others. It is also a “how to” on withholding judgment of others. It doesn’t suggest we should test people to see if they should be rejoicing or should be mourning. It is much harder to judge others with whom we spend our time and with whom we have a relationship. And how better to integrate with others than to imagine ourselves in their skin, to share their footwear and join them in laughter and weeping. A practical suggestion I received years ago was to introduce myself to my neighbours as soon as possible. This way, if there ever is a conflict, we could deal with it as people with a connection and not abstractly as a value or an idea. The same advice stands for parents and teachers as well as other people who might otherwise only meet once a problem emerges.
Proper 18
September 10, 2023
A house divided against itself cannot stand
While often attributed to Abraham Lincoln, he was quoting the Bible. (Mark 3:25, Matthew 12:25) The “house” in Lincoln's case was nothing less than the burgeoning nation of the United States of America, and the division was around slavery. The Labour march chant – the people united will never be defeated – was first sung in Chile in support of Salvador Allende. Since then, its rhythm has been maintained and translated for use throughout the world. Aesop's fable The Bundle of Sticks also makes a similar point that unity is better than division. The bundle of sticks is stronger than the same sticks held individually.
Matthew 18:15-17
If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault,
just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you
have won them over. But if they will not listen,
take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’
If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church;
and if they refuse to listen even to the church,
treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
These few verses serve as a mini-lesson in conflict resolution. Step one:Try to work it out. Step two, if needed:Get some help. Step three, if needed:Get more help. Christians can’t claim 100% scores in following this teaching.There is a major curiosity in this simple advice to keep “houses from dividing.” When Jesus says, “Let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector” it is often said this means to ignore them or to consider them as unclean and unwanted. Yet, Jesus did not treat any outsiders this way. He reached out to all outsiders and in doing so earned the scorn of many. Considering that only a few verses later Jesus says to “forgive seventy-seven times,” it makes more sense to think that he may have had a smirk on his face when he spoke of the tax collectors and gentiles. It is easy to imagine that Jesus knew those he was speaking to would interpret this as permission to avoid those with whom they disagreed, or even to shun them. Jesus likely expected that his disciples would realize later that they should follow his example in welcoming outsiders.
Proper 19
September 17, 2023
You shouldn't tell tales out of school
The phrase is likely older than 1530 where it is found in British Reformer William Tyndale's The Practyse of Prelates. Often appearing with the word “never” at the start, it is generally used as a rejoinder to mind your own business. The fact this phrase arose in the context of a school could imply that such behaviour is correctable in the young but intolerable in the adult. This notion is strongly enforced in the criminal world, sometimes in brutal ways. Slicing someone’s mouth to make it bigger is a punishment for having talked or “ratted out” someone to police. The scar marks them forever not to be trusted. In that culture, the circumstances are irrelevant and the innocence of the phrase above is but a mere dot in the distance.
Matthew 15:19-20
For out of the heart come evil intentions,
murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander.
These are what defile a person,
Confidentiality, respect for privacy, and the absence of gossip all fall into a well-known category. This is the category of things that people say are wrong but still do. Surely these words of Jesus, which lump false witness together with an impressive list of wrongdoing, can be understood as a reminder to “never tell tales out of school,” for such actions not only “defile a person” but undermine the very spirit of healthy community.
Proper 20
September 24, 2023
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence
The Roman poet Ovid, in his Epic poem on love Ars Amatoria (43 BCE-18 CE) wrote the words “fertilior seges est alienis semper in agris.” These say the crop is better in your neighbor's field. He was not talking about farming but about your eyes straying from your loved one.
Exodus 16:3
The Israelites said to them,
"If only we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt,
when we sat by the fleshpots and ate our fill of bread;
for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger."
In this story from Exodus, the Israelites clearly prefer death (the other side of the fence) to where they are in the wilderness (the side they are on.) What follows is God "hearing their complaining" and providing them with bread in the morning and quails in the evening. God provides for their life in new comfort. The people of Israel eye the grass on the other side and express their displeasure and envy, but because God has compassion, the response is not judgment but mercy. We tell this story so that we too can expect mercy rather than judgment from God. One could also look at the story of the Garden of Eden and the forbidden fruit as another example of wanting what we do not or cannot have. The commands "not to covet" would also imply that it is our natural inclination to look beyond what can satisfy and sustain us. Many therapists will dissuade people from using the words “if only” as a very short form of the “cautionary tale” in the verse cited above.
Proper 21
October 1, 2023
It’s a dog eat dog world
It is said that this phrase began as "dogs don't eat dogs" and changed to its current form as a sign of desperation that such respect was no longer visible. Dogs eating dogs is deplorable. However, the words are often spoken to heighten toughness and call people to get ready for a dogfight. The metaphor, when applied to team sports, office politics and other settings sets the stage for permitting the worst of the worst. Again, we see the kind of thinking that helps someone justify life in the world of organized crime. One time when I speaking with a man convicted of murder, he explained in his defense, “It is not like I killed a civilian.” He had taken the metaphor of a drug dealing “turf war” one step further than the rest of us and named his victim as a soldier on the other side. He lived in a dog eat dog world. And that is sad.
Philippians 2:4
Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others.
These gentle words call us back much further than the simple politeness where we would not devour our own kind. Paul describes anything but a dog eat dog world. The metaphor of dogs eating dogs is as far from being conducive to loving community as one can get. Dogs do not eat dogs in Christ’s Economy. If we want our dogs to be safe, we need to show them a good example.
Proper 22
October 8, 2023
Fake it 'till you make it
This piece of advice is also common in AA circles. The implication is that even when your sobriety doesn't feel right you should not give up as the program will make sense with time. It is also used in other settings such as making a relationship work, going to church, working through depression and staying in school. It is not the same as simply being optimistic. It acknowledges the feelings of optimism may not be real but asks you to embody your intention with actions.
Exodus 20:1-2
Then God spoke all these words:
I am the Lord your God,
who brought you out of the land of Egypt,
out of the house of slavery;
The Ten Commandments follow this verse. We normally think of a "command" as being a requirement that is announced, a rule writ large. However, when God speaks, it can be heard differently. God's commands are descriptions of what is to come. As such, we can read the Ten Commandments as ten promises. God isn't saying, "Here is a rule, follow it or else." God is saying, “I promise you these things. Someday, you will have no interest in killing. Someday, you will love your partner so much you will have no interest in other partners. You can look forward to the day you will be so content with all that you have, you will not even think of stealing.” Instead of being a source of pride for those who pretend to live them all fully, the commandments become a source of hope for us all. And while we wait for the fulfillment of God's command promises, we can all “fake it ‘till we make it!”
Proper 23
October 15, 2023
Everyone loves a party
This is a variant of the more commonly known expression, "everyone loves a parade." I know quite a few introverts who would likely disagree with both phrases. Parades and parties come in all sizes, shapes and styles and so it can't possibly follow that all people love every one of them. The common pattern of gently foisting a popular opinion on everyone repeats itself. This connects to the term "party pooper" which pejoratively refers to the people who don't agree.
Matthew 22:9-10
Go therefore into the main streets, and invite everyone you find to the wedding banquet.'
Those slaves went out into the streets and gathered all whom they found,
both good and bad; so the wedding hall was filled with guests.
Just because Jesus liked parties doesn't mean that everyone does or even that everyone should. However, it is unmistakable that Jesus was a highly social being. His first miracle, according to John (2:1-11), enabled a party to continue all night, if not for days. Remember that Jesus received constant criticism for eating and drinking with the wrong crowd. This parable (Matthew 22) compares the Kingdom of God, not only to a party but, more specifically, to a party with an endless and indiscriminate guest list!
Proper 24
October 22, 2023
We have a choice
One of Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is “being proactive.” It means to choose rather than accept. So often we say, “I have no choice” when we do have options. We may not like the choices but there are choices. You have a boss you can't stand? You can choose to quit your job! You don't have the money to eat your favourite foods? You can choose to change your diet! Your friend gets on your nerves constantly? You can end the friendship! Once you have convinced yourself that you are powerless, you are. Reminding yourself that you are choosing to accept things often helps the situation look more manageable. However, when it comes to addiction, author Gabor Maté suggests that addiction is not about choice. He connects addiction to childhood trauma that affects proper brain development and prevents the brain from responding to pain properly. While the person without this problem has an appropriate biochemical response to pain, either physical or mental, the addict, whose dopamine receptors have not fully developed,is constantly seeking out stimulants of all kinds. Maté asserts that approaching addiction in terms of choice is not only a great oversimplification, it is a very harmful one.
Matthew 22: 21b
Then he said to them,
“Give to Caesar what is Caesar's,
and to God what is God's.”
What does Jesus actually say with his answer about paying taxes to Caesar? Does he say it is obvious to pay taxes since Caesar is the emperor? Or does he counsel people to not pay taxes to Caesar because Caesar is not the true emperor? Jesus says the answer is not obvious: You have a choice and you need to make it. He does not provide a definitive answer because there is no one answer. The life of faith is not one of certainty but one of constant reliance on the Spirit for guidance. Among the many examples of this is John 8 and the story of the “Woman caught in adultery” when Jesus says, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Instead of advocating the obvious – she sinned so she should be stoned to death –Jesus infuses the situation with complication, choice and the need to rely on the Spirit to choose our course of action.
Proper 25
October 29, 2020
I need to forgive myself
Perhaps the most common words I have heard from inmates are "I need to forgive myself." They go on to explain how they think what they have done is unforgivable. Google the phrase and there is no end to people offering their ideas on how to forgive yourself. The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön offers the words, “Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.” Equality is not something most of us do very well. We are much more comfortable when it is clear that there is a person helping and the person being helped, a person teaching and the person being taught. Pema Chödrön invites us to transcend those categories and boundaries that maintain them. Some would argue that using the language of equals only masks the real differences in power and capacity that exists in our world. Whereas Marx wrote "religion is the opiate of the masses," a modern day writer might write "claims of fictitious equality are the opiate of the masses." A similar phrase, “Compassion is a two-way street” is universally attributed to filmmaker Frank Capra. Thick Nhat Hanh and others suggest that compassion is a verb, and Jack Kornfield wrote, "if your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete" in Life's Little Instruction Book attributing these words to the Buddha. Suffice to say this idea, appears often, and in many forms.
Matthew 22:39
And a second is like it: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'
Cap Anson, a friend of mine, once said, "if you have to ask who is the hugger and who is the huggee then you should not be hugging." That stuck with me. When a hug is not between equals, it is something altogether different although it is possible that two will become equals in the moment. For example, strangers who come across an atrocious accident might hug each other in their common despair. The folks who tell me that they need to forgive themselves are also telling me they need to love themselves. They understand, whether they express it or not, that Matthew 22:39 predicates that love of self and love of others need each other. In the same way, forgiveness of self and forgiveness of others need each other. Love and forgiveness are meant to flow between people and as such are both dynamic in their nature. The inmates are right. They do need to love and forgive themselves if they are going to succeed and in loving and forgiving others. And vice versa.
Proper 26
November 5, 2023
Practice what you preach
While these words are straight from the Bible, depending on the translation, earlier sentiments are easy to find. A Hindu story attributed to Ramakrishna talks about the need to “first practise, then preach” in regards to parenting. A common contemporary parallel is “walk the talk.” The first of Michael Ruiz’s Four Basic Agreements is also similar: “Be impeccable with your Word.” Ruiz describes this agreement as being “simple [yet] powerful” and points to Hitler as the great example of the power words can have. He then goes on to talk about the importance of intention. When he reaches his fourth agreement, “Always do your best," he completes his argument for the need to align words and actions.
Matthew 23:3-4
. . . therefore, do whatever they teach you and follow it;
but do not do as they do, for they do not practise what they teach.
They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear,
and lay them on the shoulders of others;
but they themselves are unwilling to lift a finger to move them
Jesus is speaking to the “crowds and his disciples” about the hypocrisy of the Scribes and Pharisees. His criticisms were so strong and pointed that the Pharisees have become synonymous with hypocrisy. The idea of matching one's words with actions is not only solidly biblical; it stands in the middle of just about any moral structure you can name. One could define integrity as having one's thoughts, words and actions integrated with each other and Gandhi is quoted as defining happiness as the harmony of thoughts, words and actions. This coalescence makes sense as integrity and happiness should surely find each other.
Proper 27
November 12, 2023
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush
This idea can be found in Aesop's The Hawk and the Nightingale. It is the hawk's response to the nightingale asking to be set free. It is a call to conservatism; a risk averse piece of advice for sure. Mae West altered it to say "A man in the house is worth two in the street" in Belle of the Nineties (1934). The proverb is not unlike what we read in Ecclesiastes 9:4 “Anyone who is among the living has hope -- even a live dog is better off than a dead lion!”
Matthew 25:29
For to all those who have, more will be given,
and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing,
even what they have will be taken away.
The "Parable of the Talents" (Matthew 25:14-30), wrote Max Weber, is one of the foundations of The Protestant Work Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism. It is not a risk averse teaching. In fact, it seems to encourage wild risk in trust of God's provision. In my early twenties I remember a deeply moving sermon given by a man who was introduced as having "made a million dollars twice and given it all away twice." He preached on this text, or perhaps the nearly identical version in Luke, and talked not of money but of love and generosity of spirit which is of little value "in hand" and only of value if you let go of it and venture into the world with it.
Proper 28
November 19, 2023
The best is yet to come
There is an old preacher's story about the man who wanted to be buried with a fork. The implication is that, just as dessert is the best part of a meal, so is life after death better than life itself. I am sure the story is not meant to be taken so literally that we can’t expect to eat pie and cake in heaven if we don't bring our own fork. But it is a view of the afterlife that imagines some kind of continuity between this world and the next. “The best is yet to come” speaks of a general approach of optimism and, no matter where you are, you can expect better. The trouble comes when such a forward-looking orientation prevents you from experiencing the present. Such a blind optimism can work like an opiate, preventing you from feeling the pain of the moment– pain that can be used for information, motivation and change.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another
and build up each other,
as indeed you are doing.
This passage concludes a section that begins with “You know very well that the Lord will come like a thief in the night.” It speaks of the end of history as we know it, also known as the apocalypse. However, it does not do so by spreading a sense of superior and smug awareness of such things or a sense of fear-driven panic, but instead ends with words akin to “Keep calm and carry on,” originally produced to motivate the British people in 1939 during the war with Germany. The belief that the best is yet to come in no way devalues the here and now. One can look forward to eating dessert while enjoying the meal before it. We do ourselves a disservice whenever we force the world into either/or categories.
Reign of Christ
November 26, 2023
If it ain't broke don't fix it
All kinds of similar expressions can be found. These include “cross that bridge when you come to it”, “let sleeping dogs lie”, “leave well enough alone” and others. The French phrase "laissez faire" says this as it describes an unfettered economic system where the economy is left free to set its own equilibrium without interference. The only trouble is that we have a habit of denying that something is broken when we shouldn't and that some people are in better position to deal with breakages than others. A classic example is an economy that chugs along with 10% unemployment. Labor is ready for industrialists who need it but the 10% are left to starve. For the 10%, the economy is broken.
Matthew 25:44-46
Then they also will answer,
‘Lord, when was it that we saw you
hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison,
and did not take care of you?’
Then he will answer them,
‘Truly I tell you, just as you did not do it to one of the least of these,
you did not do it to me.’
And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”
This incredible passage appears to contradict others that speak of salvation as a product of our faith. In this passage, faith and piety are absent. Judgement appears to be entirely based on our embodied. expression of compassion. To link with the above saying, the world is broken and it needs our compassion and our fixing. Not fixing what is not broken is a little bit like "minding your own business." My friend Don Bremaud said I could use his name when I tell this story. Don came across a couple that appeared to be starting to fight. Don inquired as to whether the woman was ok; he asked her if she felt safe. Before he knew it the man had punched him in the face and knocked him out. As he started to come to, he heard the man yell to his girlfriend, when the police come, tell them that he tried to steal your purse. This is exactly what she did and because Don had a long record of property offences, he was taken away and held for trial without bail. He did 11 months and at trial the man was no longer living in Canada. And the woman was no longer with him but she attended court and backed Don's story up word for word. Charges were immediately dropped and Don walked free. Eleven months for "meddling in a quarrel that was not his own." It was broke and he fixed it. Most people would have looked the other way. I have to conclude by pointing out that this all happened at 2:30 in the morning outside a strip bar (the guy who hit him was the stripper) where Don had gone to buy marijuana. If marijuana was legal, he could have bought it at noon from a dispensary and there would have been no arrest. There also might have been a terrible assault by a steroid crazed stripper on his girlfriend.
September 3, 2023
Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes
In To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee uses a slightly more colourful metaphor suggesting we are to “climb into [another's] skin and walk around in it.” Often moccasins appear instead of shoes. One presumes that the use of the word “moccasins” implies Indigenous beginnings. The use of the notion that trying to live someone else's experience is of great value is all the more pertinent in cross-cultural settings. I have lost track of the number of pairs of moccasins I have received as a gift, inviting me to join others in their journey. Being an “eater of shared bread,” a companion, is one of my definitions of the Christian life. Martin Luther King described this same convergence of compassion and charity when he remarked. “true compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar.” Presumably he was saying true compassion requires relationship.
Romans 12:15
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
Paul's teaching to the Romans is a “how to.” It tells us how to get along with others. It is also a “how to” on withholding judgment of others. It doesn’t suggest we should test people to see if they should be rejoicing or should be mourning. It is much harder to judge others with whom we spend our time and with whom we have a relationship. And how better to integrate with others than to imagine ourselves in their skin, to share their footwear and join them in laughter and weeping. A practical suggestion I received years ago was to introduce myself to my neighbours as soon as possible. This way, if there ever is a conflict, we could deal with it as people with a connection and not abstractly as a value or an idea. The same advice stands for parents and teachers as well as other people who might otherwise only meet once a problem emerges.
Proper 18
September 10, 2023
A house divided against itself cannot stand
While often attributed to Abraham Lincoln, he was quoting the Bible. (Mark 3:25, Matthew 12:25) The “house” in Lincoln's case was nothing less than the burgeoning nation of the United States of America, and the division was around slavery. The Labour march chant – the people united will never be defeated – was first sung in Chile in support of Salvador Allende. Since then, its rhythm has been maintained and translated for use throughout the world. Aesop's fable The Bundle of Sticks also makes a similar point that unity is better than division. The bundle of sticks is stronger than the same sticks held individually.
Matthew 18:15-17
If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault,
just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you
have won them over. But if they will not listen,
take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’
If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church;
and if they refuse to listen even to the church,
treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
These few verses serve as a mini-lesson in conflict resolution. Step one:Try to work it out. Step two, if needed:Get some help. Step three, if needed:Get more help. Christians can’t claim 100% scores in following this teaching.There is a major curiosity in this simple advice to keep “houses from dividing.” When Jesus says, “Let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector” it is often said this means to ignore them or to consider them as unclean and unwanted. Yet, Jesus did not treat any outsiders this way. He reached out to all outsiders and in doing so earned the scorn of many. Considering that only a few verses later Jesus says to “forgive seventy-seven times,” it makes more sense to think that he may have had a smirk on his face when he spoke of the tax collectors and gentiles. It is easy to imagine that Jesus knew those he was speaking to would interpret this as permission to avoid those with whom they disagreed, or even to shun them. Jesus likely expected that his disciples would realize later that they should follow his example in welcoming outsiders.
Proper 19
September 17, 2023
You shouldn't tell tales out of school
The phrase is likely older than 1530 where it is found in British Reformer William Tyndale's The Practyse of Prelates. Often appearing with the word “never” at the start, it is generally used as a rejoinder to mind your own business. The fact this phrase arose in the context of a school could imply that such behaviour is correctable in the young but intolerable in the adult. This notion is strongly enforced in the criminal world, sometimes in brutal ways. Slicing someone’s mouth to make it bigger is a punishment for having talked or “ratted out” someone to police. The scar marks them forever not to be trusted. In that culture, the circumstances are irrelevant and the innocence of the phrase above is but a mere dot in the distance.
Matthew 15:19-20
For out of the heart come evil intentions,
murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander.
These are what defile a person,
Confidentiality, respect for privacy, and the absence of gossip all fall into a well-known category. This is the category of things that people say are wrong but still do. Surely these words of Jesus, which lump false witness together with an impressive list of wrongdoing, can be understood as a reminder to “never tell tales out of school,” for such actions not only “defile a person” but undermine the very spirit of healthy community.
Proper 20
September 24, 2023
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence
The Roman poet Ovid, in his Epic poem on love Ars Amatoria (43 BCE-18 CE) wrote the words “fertilior seges est alienis semper in agris.” These say the crop is better in your neighbor's field. He was not talking about farming but about your eyes straying from your loved one.
Exodus 16:3
The Israelites said to them,
"If only we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt,
when we sat by the fleshpots and ate our fill of bread;
for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger."
In this story from Exodus, the Israelites clearly prefer death (the other side of the fence) to where they are in the wilderness (the side they are on.) What follows is God "hearing their complaining" and providing them with bread in the morning and quails in the evening. God provides for their life in new comfort. The people of Israel eye the grass on the other side and express their displeasure and envy, but because God has compassion, the response is not judgment but mercy. We tell this story so that we too can expect mercy rather than judgment from God. One could also look at the story of the Garden of Eden and the forbidden fruit as another example of wanting what we do not or cannot have. The commands "not to covet" would also imply that it is our natural inclination to look beyond what can satisfy and sustain us. Many therapists will dissuade people from using the words “if only” as a very short form of the “cautionary tale” in the verse cited above.
Proper 21
October 1, 2023
It’s a dog eat dog world
It is said that this phrase began as "dogs don't eat dogs" and changed to its current form as a sign of desperation that such respect was no longer visible. Dogs eating dogs is deplorable. However, the words are often spoken to heighten toughness and call people to get ready for a dogfight. The metaphor, when applied to team sports, office politics and other settings sets the stage for permitting the worst of the worst. Again, we see the kind of thinking that helps someone justify life in the world of organized crime. One time when I speaking with a man convicted of murder, he explained in his defense, “It is not like I killed a civilian.” He had taken the metaphor of a drug dealing “turf war” one step further than the rest of us and named his victim as a soldier on the other side. He lived in a dog eat dog world. And that is sad.
Philippians 2:4
Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others.
These gentle words call us back much further than the simple politeness where we would not devour our own kind. Paul describes anything but a dog eat dog world. The metaphor of dogs eating dogs is as far from being conducive to loving community as one can get. Dogs do not eat dogs in Christ’s Economy. If we want our dogs to be safe, we need to show them a good example.
Proper 22
October 8, 2023
Fake it 'till you make it
This piece of advice is also common in AA circles. The implication is that even when your sobriety doesn't feel right you should not give up as the program will make sense with time. It is also used in other settings such as making a relationship work, going to church, working through depression and staying in school. It is not the same as simply being optimistic. It acknowledges the feelings of optimism may not be real but asks you to embody your intention with actions.
Exodus 20:1-2
Then God spoke all these words:
I am the Lord your God,
who brought you out of the land of Egypt,
out of the house of slavery;
The Ten Commandments follow this verse. We normally think of a "command" as being a requirement that is announced, a rule writ large. However, when God speaks, it can be heard differently. God's commands are descriptions of what is to come. As such, we can read the Ten Commandments as ten promises. God isn't saying, "Here is a rule, follow it or else." God is saying, “I promise you these things. Someday, you will have no interest in killing. Someday, you will love your partner so much you will have no interest in other partners. You can look forward to the day you will be so content with all that you have, you will not even think of stealing.” Instead of being a source of pride for those who pretend to live them all fully, the commandments become a source of hope for us all. And while we wait for the fulfillment of God's command promises, we can all “fake it ‘till we make it!”
Proper 23
October 15, 2023
Everyone loves a party
This is a variant of the more commonly known expression, "everyone loves a parade." I know quite a few introverts who would likely disagree with both phrases. Parades and parties come in all sizes, shapes and styles and so it can't possibly follow that all people love every one of them. The common pattern of gently foisting a popular opinion on everyone repeats itself. This connects to the term "party pooper" which pejoratively refers to the people who don't agree.
Matthew 22:9-10
Go therefore into the main streets, and invite everyone you find to the wedding banquet.'
Those slaves went out into the streets and gathered all whom they found,
both good and bad; so the wedding hall was filled with guests.
Just because Jesus liked parties doesn't mean that everyone does or even that everyone should. However, it is unmistakable that Jesus was a highly social being. His first miracle, according to John (2:1-11), enabled a party to continue all night, if not for days. Remember that Jesus received constant criticism for eating and drinking with the wrong crowd. This parable (Matthew 22) compares the Kingdom of God, not only to a party but, more specifically, to a party with an endless and indiscriminate guest list!
Proper 24
October 22, 2023
We have a choice
One of Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is “being proactive.” It means to choose rather than accept. So often we say, “I have no choice” when we do have options. We may not like the choices but there are choices. You have a boss you can't stand? You can choose to quit your job! You don't have the money to eat your favourite foods? You can choose to change your diet! Your friend gets on your nerves constantly? You can end the friendship! Once you have convinced yourself that you are powerless, you are. Reminding yourself that you are choosing to accept things often helps the situation look more manageable. However, when it comes to addiction, author Gabor Maté suggests that addiction is not about choice. He connects addiction to childhood trauma that affects proper brain development and prevents the brain from responding to pain properly. While the person without this problem has an appropriate biochemical response to pain, either physical or mental, the addict, whose dopamine receptors have not fully developed,is constantly seeking out stimulants of all kinds. Maté asserts that approaching addiction in terms of choice is not only a great oversimplification, it is a very harmful one.
Matthew 22: 21b
Then he said to them,
“Give to Caesar what is Caesar's,
and to God what is God's.”
What does Jesus actually say with his answer about paying taxes to Caesar? Does he say it is obvious to pay taxes since Caesar is the emperor? Or does he counsel people to not pay taxes to Caesar because Caesar is not the true emperor? Jesus says the answer is not obvious: You have a choice and you need to make it. He does not provide a definitive answer because there is no one answer. The life of faith is not one of certainty but one of constant reliance on the Spirit for guidance. Among the many examples of this is John 8 and the story of the “Woman caught in adultery” when Jesus says, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Instead of advocating the obvious – she sinned so she should be stoned to death –Jesus infuses the situation with complication, choice and the need to rely on the Spirit to choose our course of action.
Proper 25
October 29, 2020
I need to forgive myself
Perhaps the most common words I have heard from inmates are "I need to forgive myself." They go on to explain how they think what they have done is unforgivable. Google the phrase and there is no end to people offering their ideas on how to forgive yourself. The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön offers the words, “Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.” Equality is not something most of us do very well. We are much more comfortable when it is clear that there is a person helping and the person being helped, a person teaching and the person being taught. Pema Chödrön invites us to transcend those categories and boundaries that maintain them. Some would argue that using the language of equals only masks the real differences in power and capacity that exists in our world. Whereas Marx wrote "religion is the opiate of the masses," a modern day writer might write "claims of fictitious equality are the opiate of the masses." A similar phrase, “Compassion is a two-way street” is universally attributed to filmmaker Frank Capra. Thick Nhat Hanh and others suggest that compassion is a verb, and Jack Kornfield wrote, "if your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete" in Life's Little Instruction Book attributing these words to the Buddha. Suffice to say this idea, appears often, and in many forms.
Matthew 22:39
And a second is like it: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'
Cap Anson, a friend of mine, once said, "if you have to ask who is the hugger and who is the huggee then you should not be hugging." That stuck with me. When a hug is not between equals, it is something altogether different although it is possible that two will become equals in the moment. For example, strangers who come across an atrocious accident might hug each other in their common despair. The folks who tell me that they need to forgive themselves are also telling me they need to love themselves. They understand, whether they express it or not, that Matthew 22:39 predicates that love of self and love of others need each other. In the same way, forgiveness of self and forgiveness of others need each other. Love and forgiveness are meant to flow between people and as such are both dynamic in their nature. The inmates are right. They do need to love and forgive themselves if they are going to succeed and in loving and forgiving others. And vice versa.
Proper 26
November 5, 2023
Practice what you preach
While these words are straight from the Bible, depending on the translation, earlier sentiments are easy to find. A Hindu story attributed to Ramakrishna talks about the need to “first practise, then preach” in regards to parenting. A common contemporary parallel is “walk the talk.” The first of Michael Ruiz’s Four Basic Agreements is also similar: “Be impeccable with your Word.” Ruiz describes this agreement as being “simple [yet] powerful” and points to Hitler as the great example of the power words can have. He then goes on to talk about the importance of intention. When he reaches his fourth agreement, “Always do your best," he completes his argument for the need to align words and actions.
Matthew 23:3-4
. . . therefore, do whatever they teach you and follow it;
but do not do as they do, for they do not practise what they teach.
They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear,
and lay them on the shoulders of others;
but they themselves are unwilling to lift a finger to move them
Jesus is speaking to the “crowds and his disciples” about the hypocrisy of the Scribes and Pharisees. His criticisms were so strong and pointed that the Pharisees have become synonymous with hypocrisy. The idea of matching one's words with actions is not only solidly biblical; it stands in the middle of just about any moral structure you can name. One could define integrity as having one's thoughts, words and actions integrated with each other and Gandhi is quoted as defining happiness as the harmony of thoughts, words and actions. This coalescence makes sense as integrity and happiness should surely find each other.
Proper 27
November 12, 2023
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush
This idea can be found in Aesop's The Hawk and the Nightingale. It is the hawk's response to the nightingale asking to be set free. It is a call to conservatism; a risk averse piece of advice for sure. Mae West altered it to say "A man in the house is worth two in the street" in Belle of the Nineties (1934). The proverb is not unlike what we read in Ecclesiastes 9:4 “Anyone who is among the living has hope -- even a live dog is better off than a dead lion!”
Matthew 25:29
For to all those who have, more will be given,
and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing,
even what they have will be taken away.
The "Parable of the Talents" (Matthew 25:14-30), wrote Max Weber, is one of the foundations of The Protestant Work Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism. It is not a risk averse teaching. In fact, it seems to encourage wild risk in trust of God's provision. In my early twenties I remember a deeply moving sermon given by a man who was introduced as having "made a million dollars twice and given it all away twice." He preached on this text, or perhaps the nearly identical version in Luke, and talked not of money but of love and generosity of spirit which is of little value "in hand" and only of value if you let go of it and venture into the world with it.
Proper 28
November 19, 2023
The best is yet to come
There is an old preacher's story about the man who wanted to be buried with a fork. The implication is that, just as dessert is the best part of a meal, so is life after death better than life itself. I am sure the story is not meant to be taken so literally that we can’t expect to eat pie and cake in heaven if we don't bring our own fork. But it is a view of the afterlife that imagines some kind of continuity between this world and the next. “The best is yet to come” speaks of a general approach of optimism and, no matter where you are, you can expect better. The trouble comes when such a forward-looking orientation prevents you from experiencing the present. Such a blind optimism can work like an opiate, preventing you from feeling the pain of the moment– pain that can be used for information, motivation and change.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another
and build up each other,
as indeed you are doing.
This passage concludes a section that begins with “You know very well that the Lord will come like a thief in the night.” It speaks of the end of history as we know it, also known as the apocalypse. However, it does not do so by spreading a sense of superior and smug awareness of such things or a sense of fear-driven panic, but instead ends with words akin to “Keep calm and carry on,” originally produced to motivate the British people in 1939 during the war with Germany. The belief that the best is yet to come in no way devalues the here and now. One can look forward to eating dessert while enjoying the meal before it. We do ourselves a disservice whenever we force the world into either/or categories.
Reign of Christ
November 26, 2023
If it ain't broke don't fix it
All kinds of similar expressions can be found. These include “cross that bridge when you come to it”, “let sleeping dogs lie”, “leave well enough alone” and others. The French phrase "laissez faire" says this as it describes an unfettered economic system where the economy is left free to set its own equilibrium without interference. The only trouble is that we have a habit of denying that something is broken when we shouldn't and that some people are in better position to deal with breakages than others. A classic example is an economy that chugs along with 10% unemployment. Labor is ready for industrialists who need it but the 10% are left to starve. For the 10%, the economy is broken.
Matthew 25:44-46
Then they also will answer,
‘Lord, when was it that we saw you
hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison,
and did not take care of you?’
Then he will answer them,
‘Truly I tell you, just as you did not do it to one of the least of these,
you did not do it to me.’
And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”
This incredible passage appears to contradict others that speak of salvation as a product of our faith. In this passage, faith and piety are absent. Judgement appears to be entirely based on our embodied. expression of compassion. To link with the above saying, the world is broken and it needs our compassion and our fixing. Not fixing what is not broken is a little bit like "minding your own business." My friend Don Bremaud said I could use his name when I tell this story. Don came across a couple that appeared to be starting to fight. Don inquired as to whether the woman was ok; he asked her if she felt safe. Before he knew it the man had punched him in the face and knocked him out. As he started to come to, he heard the man yell to his girlfriend, when the police come, tell them that he tried to steal your purse. This is exactly what she did and because Don had a long record of property offences, he was taken away and held for trial without bail. He did 11 months and at trial the man was no longer living in Canada. And the woman was no longer with him but she attended court and backed Don's story up word for word. Charges were immediately dropped and Don walked free. Eleven months for "meddling in a quarrel that was not his own." It was broke and he fixed it. Most people would have looked the other way. I have to conclude by pointing out that this all happened at 2:30 in the morning outside a strip bar (the guy who hit him was the stripper) where Don had gone to buy marijuana. If marijuana was legal, he could have bought it at noon from a dispensary and there would have been no arrest. There also might have been a terrible assault by a steroid crazed stripper on his girlfriend.